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Acacia Byrd
Acacia Byrd is one of the agents from the Original Series. She famously worked with Jay Thorntree in the Lord of the Rings Division of the Department of Mary Sues. Agent Profile Appearance Acacia is the shorter of the two partners. She has brown hair, and wears glasses. Personality Acacia was (usually) the "moody-broody" counterpart to the cheerful (and occasionally manic) Jay. However, at times these roles could be reversed, or simply chucked out the window, since PPC agents aren't one-dimensional. She also likes poisons, because they are "fun." This may be due to a slight homicidal tendency. Well, maybe not slight... Agent History Recruitment Acacia was recruited in 2002 HST to the Department of Bad Slash. The exact circumstances of her recruitment are unknown. Early Departments Acacia had never met a Flower until encountering the Sunflower Official in the DMS. This is quite surprising, since her brief stint in the DBS was followed by an equally short time with the Department of Implausible Crossovers, which she was kicked out of for attempting to murder Harry Potter, before she was finally transferred to the Department of Mary Sues and partnered with Jay. All of these events took place in 2002. Jay Jay Thorntree and Acacia Byrd are the most famous assassins in the entire PPC. They worked mostly with the Department of Mary Sues, but were also temporarily reassigned to the Department of Implausible Crossovers. While only partnered for a brief time—they were together for the release of the Two Towers movie, but had parted before The Return of the King came out—until relatively recently, they had the largest body of mission reports for a single pair of agents. However, sometime in 2003, Acacia broke under the pressure, and was permitted to retire to the Roman Empire. Timeline * 2002 - Recruited to the PPC and the DBS. Transferred in quick succession to the DIC and then the DMS, where she was partnered with Jay Thorntree. * 2003 - Retires in the middle of the year. Mission Reports * Complete archive at PPC: The Lost Tales Partnered with Jay * Chapter 1: "Rambling Band" (Lord of the Rings) ** Meet the Assassins as they rid Middle-earth of stray punk rockers in Rivendell. ** Sue: Laurel * Chapter 2: "Chosen" (Lord of the Rings) ** Galadriel's other daughter meets a timely end. ** Sue: Phoenix * Chapter 3: "Lady of the Fellowship" (Lord of the Rings) ** Technical difficulties are experienced, and necessity proves the mother of invention as the Assassins encounter a Warrior-Sue. ** Sue: Akasha * Chapter 4: "Protector of the Ringbearer" (Lord of the Rings), with Luxury ** Of blue unicorns and less probable things; the Department of Bad Slash proves helpful. ** Sues: Aislinn and Branwyn Luck * Chapter 5: "What Might Have Been" (Lord of the Rings) ** The secret of Rivendell's construction, and the lost technology of Hollin—'cement'. ** Sues: Anirana and Hanae * Chapter 6: "And in the Darkness Bind Them" (Lord of the Rings) ** Zelda meets Dragonlance meets the Assassins: PPC 1, "Link" 0. ** Sue: Link * Chapter 7: "Children of the Earth" (Lord of the Rings), with Agents Luxury and Sean (DBS) ** Sean and Lux tag along. Recruiting. ** Sues: Emma Silverblade and Kivan Silverblade * Chapter 8: "Why am I Here" (Lord of the Rings) ** How to drive a Mary Sue to madness: the Cheese Elves of Rivendell. ** Sues: Alex and Charlie * Chapter 9: "Laugh at the Moon" (Lord of the Rings) ** Scientific "Testing to Destruction" of a Mary Sue. ** Sue: Alexis * Chapter 10: "Vacation at OFUM" ** (Which turns out to be a Working Vacation, of course...) ** A visit to OFUM * Chapter 11: "Mithril" (Lord of the Rings) ** Elrond's other daughter meets a timely end in Generic FantasyLand. ** Sue: Mithril Starlight * Chapter 12: "Gwendolyn" (Lord of the Rings) ** In which it is seen that ten is not a logical number. ** Sue: Gwendolyn Elizabeth Huntington * Chapter 13: "All Souls Night" (Lord of the Rings) ** What to do with flames, and no-win situations. ** Sue: Ariuella Shadowfox * Chapter 14: "Sisterhood" (Lord of the Rings) ** "Nine Sues for mortal men, doomed to cry..." ** Sues: Deminica and The Sisterhood * Chapter 15: "The Maiden" (Lord of the Rings) ** Barbecue time! Party with the PPC! ** Sue: Pangaea * Chapter 16: "We Cannot Be" (Lord of the Rings) ** Andromielle Zinnia, Sue Social Status, and OOCness... (Plus! Limited time offer: see Jay sane.) ** Sue: Andromielle Zinnia * Chapter 17: "Darkness Awakened" (Lord of the Rings x Star Wars) ** A transfer, a lichen that sounds like John Cleese and reincarnated Isildur—"Izzy"—teaming up with a Jedi named Matrix—it's time to take on crossovers. ** Avatar: Matrix * Chapter 18: "Two Worlds" (Lord of the Rings x Harry Potter) ** The prodigal daughter of Remus Lupin and Galadriel gets what's coming to her. ** Sue: Serenity * Chapter 19: "Torment" (Lord of the Rings), Jay with Agent Dead (DE) ** "You don't have to be crazy to work here, but it helps."—Especially when dealing with a case where the canon characters are totally out of their minds. Oh, the pain... ** Bad Slash * Chapter 20: "The Luggage Runs Off With the One Ring" (Lord of the Rings x Discworld) ** Discworld crossover mayhem—say goodby to sanity... ** Implausible Crossover * Chapter 21: "The Dark Elf" (Lord of the Rings) ** Bring your anti-nausea medications... ** Sue: Solaris * Chapter 22: "Elemental Crystals" (Lord of the Rings) ** On dragons and real dragons. ** Sues: Elvira Flameheart Magiseer and Silavren * Chapter 23: "To Know Where You Are Going" (Lord of the Rings) ** Elrond and Arwen: the love story never told. For a bloody good reason, as Jay and Acacia... explain to the Possesion-Sue. ** Sue: Sue!Arwen * Chapter 24: "A Taste of Blood" (Lord of the Rings), Jay with Agent Dee (RPFD) ** Poor Legolas has finally had it, and kills himself (who can blame him?), making Jay team up with Dee of the RPF Department to give the author a good whacking. ** Sue: Damien Other Appearances * "Taken Far Too Literally" by GreyLadyBast ** Jay and Acacia appear in chapter 9 to remove an unfortunate woman named Mary Sue from the Lord of the Rings continuum. * "PPC: Troll Division," Agents Leelee, Marokee, and Saphie Ellings (DBP) ** On her first day in HQ, Saphie runs into Jay and Acacia. This takes place immediately after the end of "Protector of the Ringbearer." * "Laurel" (Lord of the Rings), Agents Rosie Cotton Bomull and Nenya Gabriel (DMS - DMO) ** Jay and Acacia run into Rosie and Nenya on their first day in HQ. * "A Will of Their Own" (Lord of the Rings), Agents Aerilyn and Zera (DMS - LotR) ** Jay and Acacia are kidnapped by a Mary Sue for the Sue's nefarious ends. * "The Daughter of Jay and Acacia" ** ca. 2005, the first Jaycacia Thornbyrd story features an appearance by in-character Jay and Acacia * "Funeral for an Angil" ** Early 2006, the second Jaycacia story was read by Jay and Acacia in Jay's house * "All Roads" ** Jay and Acacia encounter Tanfin Illian, who flees to Rome to escape the Black Cats. Set in 2030 and 2006, HST. * "A Sunflower's Tears" ** 2007 (chapters 1-3) and 2008 (chapters 4-6). The third Jaycacia story, read by Jay and Acacia in Jay's house. * "Sweat, Blood and Tears" ** 2009. The fourth Jaycacia story. Jay visits Acacia in Rome to read it. * "50 Shades of Canon" ** March 2012. Jay pays Acacia a visit when the PPC tries to bring them back. They don't come. Category:PPC Agents Category:Retired Agents Category:Department of Bad Slash Category:Department of Mary Sues Category:Lord of the Rings Division (DMS) Category:Department of Implausible Crossovers Category:Original Series Category:Previously Featured Agents